so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
