I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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