Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
