Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
