i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
