another moral hangover. fuck.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
