it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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