Banned from zoo.
Again?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
