I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
