I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
