I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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