They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
