shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
