These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
