...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
