i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
