The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
