Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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