I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm at about main and main street
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
