so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
