so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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