bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
