So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
