Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
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