I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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