I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
