I wannas sexs uuuuu
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
