why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
