There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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