it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
