so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
