we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Randomize
