I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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