i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
