you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
