Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
