Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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