I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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