Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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