Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
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