meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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