so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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