I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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