that's an acceptable place to lick
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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