Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the day after is always just damage control
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
