waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize