I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I don't think brook has ever known best
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
