I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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