My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
