so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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