did you get engaged???
they need to just BURY HIM!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
